Man will begin to recover the moment he takes art as seriously as physics, chemistry or money.
~ Ernst Levy
What do you do? How many times do we ask and answer this question? What’s the response when we reply?
The question is usually understood to mean “What do you do for a living/to earn money?” Some people answer with puffed chests and proud smiles “I’m a doctor/lawyer/teacher/scientist/computer programmer/engineer.” To be sure, these folks have reason to be proud. Many of them worked hard in school and paid their dues on many levels to achieve the positions they hold. They offer a significant, valuable skill set that benefits society at large.
In my experience, people working in areas that are deemed less practical are more sheepish, often apologetic in their replies. Perhaps they are an artist, musician, writer, entrepreneur … or worse, a stay-at-home parent. Most people don’t even consider the latter a real job. Some don’t consider the other occupations I listed real jobs either.
Why Don’t You Get a Real Job?
Try telling someone that you are starting your own business, or that you’re a musician, writer, or other type of artist. Mention that you are forfeiting a pay cheque to care for your children and home. Not always, but more often than not, eyes glance away in search of a handy escape hatch. The response is usually an awkwardly uttered “Oh … well… that’s interesting. . .” Before you know it, the subject has changed or the enquirer has quickly moved on to mingle with more intelligent, interesting, normal people.
Even those who appreciate good art, music and writing wonder how you could possibly make a living in that type of field. Some of us are reluctant to pay for creative endeavours. In the age of the internet, why should we pay when we can find it somewhere for free? The arts are all well and good, but they don’t offer any real tangible benefit to society do they? They’re the first educational programs slashed when budgets are tight and they always seem to play second fiddle to the athletics department.
Entrepreneurs are often viewed as flaky dreamers … until one of their ventures makes it big. The most obvious recent examples are tech titans like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg, but history is replete with innovators who were initially viewed as oddballs, and later, as geniuses. We owe them a debt of gratitude as large – perhaps larger – than the professionals who go on to fine tune and execute their vision.
I don’t want to wade too deeply into the stay-at-home-parent issue, as that’s a whole other blog post (or 12!). The purpose here is not to say that one form of family dynamic is better than the other, but to point out that skilled parenting, whether it’s by someone who works outside the home or not, does not seem to carry a lot of value in our society. Still, families with two working parents are now considered the norm, and it’s been my experience that people do look askance at those who choose to have one parent look after the children and household while the other earns the income – more so if that parent happens to be the father.
What Is a Real Job?
It seems to me a real job (as mentioned above) offers a significant, valuable skill set that benefits society at large. It’s pretty easy to see that most of those in prestigious, practical lines of work do offer skills that benefit society. But what about artists and entrepreneurs and stay-at-home parents? Is it time for them to suck it up and get a real job?
My definition of a real job didn’t include anything about money, although any stay-at-home parent will tell you the absence of a pay cheque is probably the thing they regret the most about their choice. Some entrepreneurs or artists give up on their ideas just before they might have blossomed because they simply can’t afford to pursue their dreams any longer. Like it or not, our society doesn’t place a huge value (especially in the monetary sense) on this type of work – except in the rare case where an artist or entrepreneur makes it big.
Still, there are many great artists, entrepreneurs and parents out there who are contributing a significant, valuable skill set that benefits society at large. Some of them are earning money and some of them aren’t. I can’t imagine my life without music or books. I love my iPad. I’m grateful that my Mom stayed home with us for several years. I’m also grateful that she worked for many years to help support us – and I’d like to think she put out a decent product. 
Why Ask the Question?
All of these questions came to mind recently as our two older sons turned 17. Honestly, I don’t know where the years have gone. It seems like only yesterday a bewildered young version of me brought home tiny twin boys. Overnight I became a 40-something grown-up living with a group of young men, and one slightly older – but still very handsome – gentleman!
Many of you already know my two older sons are musicians. They are at a point now where they must decide whether to pursue their dreams or get a real job. What’s a skilled mother to advise?
I don’t know what the right answer is, but I do know these boys.
These two young men have never done anything by the book since the morning they graced our lives – a month before their scheduled arrival. They have coloured outside the lines, been oblivious to boundaries and touched everything they weren’t supposed to touch – repeatedly. At the same time, they have an iron-clad sense of justice and truth that is probably rare for people of any age, let alone adolescents.
Music is their native language. I’ve spent many years trying to help them cultivate, yet hone their artistic nature. How can I now ask them to suck it up and get a real job? To be sure, the road won’t be easy for them and the term “starving artist” sometimes keeps me up at night. But would things be any easier if they tried to cram themselves into a “real” job that just doesn’t fit?
When I’m honest with myself, I have to answer in the negative. My one hope and wish for all of my sons has always been that they would be happy. I’ve come to understand that it’s really hard to be happy if you don’t wake up every morning excited to do what you do. What my eldest sons do is music. I think that is a significant, valuable skill set that benefits society at large – whether said society wants to pay for it or not.
What do you think?
Great post and great questions, Kim. One thing that wan’t mentioned here is legacy.
You might make millions as a lawyer or investment banker, but unless you are one of the very few who are high profile, no one will remember anything you did at work 40 years later.
On the other hand, if you are a good parent, your child will almost certainly remember that 40 years later. Even if you are relatively “unsuccessful” as an artist, you may still impact someone 40 years later. Your sculpture may still be looked at on someone’s shelf, your words may still be read by someone, your music may still bring a smile. Maybe not to very many, but still to someone.
But no one from the next generation will remember the great capital structure you put in place to effect the merger of United Machine Tool with Amalgamated Machine Tool…
Ha! I suppose a lovely capital structure might be a work of art to some, but your point is very well taken. I love to discover a new (to me) piece of music, although I sometimes feel neglectful about not having found it earlier
The importance of legacy really is a great point. Thanks for filling in that gap for me!
My spiritual journey suggests to me that we are created on purpose and with a purpose. I believe that purpose is revealed in the different things that bring each of us great joy. Joy is contagious and, if we think about it, is our real gift to the world.
Thanks for your comment Ian. I hope you continue to find (and share) joy in your life.
There is a reason they are called Starving Artists, and why they may be following their dream now, 55 without a house and pension can be pretty bad.
People need a real job to pay the bills, dreams are what you do after work.
… unless you’re lucky enough to be paid for doing work that you love.
I’ve seen statistics that show that people change careers 3-4 times. And I’ve seen statistics that say that 50% of marriages break up due to monetary stress.
For those reasons and others, I’m not in the ‘do what you love’ camp. I’m in the ‘do what is going to earn you a good living’ camp. It’s easier to be happier when you’re well off than it is when you’re stressed about bills. I’m encouraging my kids to find something they’re interested in, but make sure it’s got top notch prospects for an income when you’re done. Time enough to do what you love when you’ve got a solid income under your belt.
Plus if you’re good at something, making a difference, and earning a living, it’s possible, perhaps probably that you will become passionate about it. There’s no reason a musician can’t become passionate about being a doctor – make a good income and play in a band for kicks on the weekend. Or they can become a musician and get dragged down into the minutia of getting bookings, finding reliable band members, trying to pay for gas to the next gig,etc. I gotta believe that turns into ‘work’ real fast, particularly if you’re hardly eking out a living!
I actually spoke with a musician lately. Never heard of the guy previously, but he supports his family on it. It was entirely clear from our discussion that he does treat it like a business, not a hobby.
No doubt a career as a musician means you are an entrepreneur. It’s a business like anything else. If you can’t find a way to put food on the table as an artist, you definitely need a backup plan. But giving up on pursuing a career in music before you even get started because you’re afraid you might not succeed is a recipe for unhappiness and regret.
I’m so glad the artists who enrich our lives took a chance on their talents rather than relegating them to weekend hobbies while they peddle products they don’t believe in on weekdays.
Exceptionally thoughtful article..Why don’t we get a real job is a question that often hammers in our head,,,,After we change the world with our art, our incredibly successful children, our spiritual teachings, our new ideas and business concepts, then people say we are “lucky” to be one of the chosen few as if we didn’t really work all that hard to get to that successful place. Until that day when we are fabulously wealthy and our industry grants us superstar status, we are deemed dreamers, unrealistic, illogical, and without real direction as we diligently toil away at our work until it’s worthy of acceptance as a “real job.” They see us as an overnight success or as complete failures. Until we are winners, our work is deemed as a hobby, a luxury, or as simply frivolous. Amazing read….